The Voices Deep Within (poetry)

2010-03-28T00:18:00.002+08:00

Door?

Where? Where? Where?
I keep running,
I keep seeing,
But where are you?

I've lean hard on these walls,
Pushed these rocks,
Follow the light,
I just keep seeking,

'round and round...
I just keep coming back to this point,
This circle,
I can't see, I can't feel...

Have the skin hardened?
Senses numbed?
The heart turned cold?
Or is it just an illusion?

I'm trying,
Gasping,
Fighting,
Holding on...

But where are you?
Why can't I see or feel you near?
Can't you see I'm looking for you?
Where are you?

2010-03-25T14:23:00.002+08:00

The Dreamer

My house is on the clouds up in the sky,
So soft and tender,
Blue and bright!

My hands reached...
To grasp a handful of clouds,
There holds beautiful visions...

In that vast air,
I shape, shapes...
Dream, dreams...

There...
Is the field I run,
The mill of my mind,

Because I am a dreamer...

2010-03-03T20:26:00.000+08:00

Witness

Full moon,
Rainbows,
Sunsets,
Starry sky,
Laughter...

Empty,
Hollow,
and
Void,

I ran,
Jumped,
Walked,
Crawled...

But never can I find...
Myself, smiling,
'cause deep inside,
In the core of me...

Is...

Empty,
Hollow,
and,
Void

2009-11-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

To The One Who Love Green

Dear dearest of them all,

I've been meaning to tell you that;

It is the reason for my many first attempts,
Dreams and hopes,
'cause it is what we've built and hold on to,
Our promises to one another...

When the sun sets, happiness rises,
Knowing we'll be nearer tomorrow...
When the sun rises, grace rises,
For it is another day of blessing...

The sea, the sky, and the land...
May come between us,
But let faith hold us strong,
And love hold us through...

We are, two ordinaries in the world,
But not in our world,
The world - we have to overcome...
To build the one called ours....

Love...
Never made sense...
'til...
Now.

Yours,
The girl who loves 8

2009-10-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

Cherry Tree

There's an empty seat under the cherry tree,
As I watch from above and reminisce...
Days that were long gone...

Once when I would gather its fruit in my 'skirt basket',
Sit under and dream,
Enjoying its company on lonely evenings...

Now, I watch from above,
Listening to the tappings from a lonely window,
A picture starts to paint...

The empty seat taken,
Joy and excitement fills the air, like before,
I know that it's you...

I'll bring you to my cherry tree,
Together we shall sit under its arms,
Watch the Sun-dance...

You will hear tales and songs,
Gather the cherries,
You, me and the cherry tree...

I know...
I can watch the day; rise to set,
and starless sky...

Listen to still air,
Stay calm in a storm,
By your side...

One day, when you meet the cherry tree...
It'll be through...
'til wrinkled.

2009-08-18T15:50:00.003+08:00

On the 7th

Love, that's what I want to call you...

Should we throw all that we have,
All the that we share,
When we both know how much it means...

The sky,
The sea,
The air...

They are one

What is it that kept us halved?
You and me?
The air, the sea, or the sky?

We only live once and once only...
Should you throw out all that you have, all that we have...
In this life of once...

I alone...
Cannot make us whole,
As I am half of what is us...

Fighting for this wholeness,
Lugging this fear of halved living,
Feeding on ambiguity...

But I persevere

Because, I believe,
I trust, I hope,
And, faith...

In the wholeness created for us

Please, don't slain the hope just yet,
Don't persecute what we already have,
Possibility needs us, not me...

Love, is what you should be at the end.

2009-06-20T14:08:00.002+08:00

A Page For Breandan Epaphroditos

Dear Diary,

As always and before...
I stand two-footed,
One on love, another on hate...

There it was my empty seat...
Its got a company too,
It is called my empty heart...

Behind the brutal anger, it was a blush,
I am sorry,
I really didn't want to be teased...

I was stealing glances at your stares...
'coz when I stare back,
You'll turn to the window,

Yesterday I heard the girls,
Discussing about us,
Making hypothetical conclusions...

I cheered for your tug of war,
It won't be the same when next year comes,
You'll be staring at another girl next to you...

I will miss the silly pretences,
The glances bumping,
And you.

Love, The 10 years old Me

2009-05-29T15:21:00.002+08:00

Waiting For The Mailman

Like my loyal girl,
I sit, I stood, I wait by the doorstep,
Circumstances cut my wait short, leaving me to pout behind closed doors...

Peering from afar hoping I'd catch a glimpse of that red vehicle,
Yet my wait was left in vain but never strained,
Everyday my loyal girl and I, at the doorstep...

Where... Oh where...
Am I suppose to sit in this hot afternoon?
But faithfully at the doorstep.

2009-03-18T20:40:00.003+08:00

Dear December

December, December...
Last of the lot,
Always joyous and warm,
Framing season in it.

Lovely, lovely December...
Oh so dear to me...
You are filled with joy and sadness...
As people dear to me comes and goes in your honour.

In that 31 days,
I sit faithfully by the sill,
With a hope brimmed heart...
Next to a heavy heart.

Though they depart one by one...
Towards your expiry...
Joy and love had stocked up for hibernation...
Preparing yours truly for it.

By the end of that 31-day,
That heart of mine so filled with joy and love...
Will provide for the oncoming 334 days...

'til we meet again

2008-11-04T23:20:00.001+08:00

Random Note

Love is a painful pleasure.
It is the painful experiences and trials that made it pleasurable.
Love is like a pain with sedation.
Painful when it is challenged, questioned, and unsure of yet the mighty sedation lies in love itself. Love, is a beautiful contradiction.

Note: This is a note I found in my mobile. I wrote it sometime ago and I've just found it yesterday.

2008-10-25T13:00:00.002+08:00

C of The C

Hey there lovely,
Who could fill your void?
Which voice replace yours?
None.

Grace was with me,
As well as Mercy,
and Love,
and Joy...

Because you have brought them to me,
You come so fully in them,
Not because you are friendly with them,
But you are blessed in them.

So,

Let not the scorching sun dry them,
Nor the tall walls trap them,
Because you are blessed in them,
They fill every stream of your blood,

And you have shared them with me...
Kindly,
Loyally,
Patiently...

Now when the sun is blinding you,
and the walls are blocking your routes,
Be still and conquer them,
Do not be a defeated victim...

Stand!
Take your sword,
Fight to the ver last of them,
With all that you are,

Because...

You are not some replenish-able stock,
Nor are you the sea that stores itself,
You are crafted, perfectly as you...
and there will never be another of you in this place...

Thus, losing you accounts me a forever-loss,
When you wither, part of my life wither along,
For you are very much dear and precious to me,
Without you, I am not truly me.

note: Chelle, thanks for being an awesome friend in times of idiocy and stupidity, you've hold me through those times. I will hold you through this rough storm because you matter and i love you. My friends say that we are all so mushy to say 'i love you' to each other but there is a reason behind it and who knows it better but us. I think you know why I say I love you and you know the depth of it means cause I don't just say them to anyone. Let me be angry but don't let me watch all that you are wither helplessly. I am going to tell you this again and again and I will not get tired for I love you and you mean a lot to me.

This poem is for you.

Love,
Your Mel-sasa.

2008-10-24T15:17:00.002+08:00

Love Letter To The Boy

Dearest boy who shall be my prince charming,

I am writing to you though I have not seen you,
But I am sure that one day we will meet,
You will be the prince who saves me from the witch,
The one to break the spells bound unto me,
And the one I will live happily ever after with,
Because, it is love will grow between us...

I know that you are somewhere in this world,
And I want you to know that I am too,
By the time we meet,
We will be adults called Ladies and Gentlemen,
Oh... Do you have milk moustache like mine?
Are you wondering about me like I am about you?

Dear boy,
I just want you to know that...
I am trying to picture you,
Because only you will win my love,
And you must be very beautiful and special to me,
Who are you?

Are you Edward who sits next to me in class?
Or are you Siva who walks to school with me?
Perhaps the chinese boy in the bus who gives me his stickers?
Could you be that boy who helped me when I fell?
Well maybe you are airplanes and ships away...
So who would you be?

Whoever you are...
I know I will love you,
Like the fairy tales on t.v.
So dear boy, you will love me back won't you?
Will you be gentle and tender with my heart?
I believe you will.

You will also be the most special and beautiful person I'll ever meet,
And I know that you will be very nice and kind to me,
I believe in you...
Though I don't know who you are...
Because, they say love is beautiful and special,
So are you.

Love,
The 5 years old Girl.

2008-06-19T23:38:00.002+08:00

Before The Take Off

I am a seedling,
All out in the open,
Rolled through rocky mountain trails,
And over muddy path...

Gasping to bloom into what my ancestors were,
To bloom into magnificence,
Was not a duty nor a destiny,
It was a choice...

A choice to believe,
To be nurtured,
Because...
A seedling can never be too safe,

Human eye's are the best predator,
Picking on the good to keep...
The battered is only good as reserves,
Often goes into rot,

The battered came a long way,
No eyes sees the route,
Just the last product,
Full of scars and bruises...

Who in the end,
Looking too frail to hold up,
Thus, given up,
For human is afraid of another burial...

As they go by the seasons...
In nature's way.

p/s: Uncle Nanda, I don't know why I ended up with something like this. I had no idea but I'm keeping the title and it's sort of a point of view? I don't know what to call this. cheers!

2008-06-12T10:01:00.003+08:00

Unbeatable

You're telling me that everythings going to be good,
But what I need is assurance from you...
'cause when images of you keep running in my mind,
All I could do is sit and watch,

I had them all set up,
So I could be there next to you,
Just so I can wake up the very next day,
To see them being swallowed in the wave,

All I need is...
You...
'cause thats all I need to be complete...
All of me is found with you around...

Its tough to reality check,
Knowing how hard it'll be,
For you to hold my heart,
And not give it back,

Beating the miles,
Forgetting to check on time,
Is what we need,
To reunite...

But are you afraid?
Of this heart I am giving out...
I was once afraid,
But knowing that its you...
Sank all my fears... Far away from me...

That's because...

All I need is...
You...
'cause thats all I need to be complete...
All of me is found with you around...

So will you try...
Not to give up so soon...
For I am chasing the miles,
And forgetting time...

2008-06-03T14:20:00.002+08:00

Every Song's A Story

There's a story behind,
Every little voice,
That song we sang of yesterdays,
For you and for me...
Both a different picture altogether,
Making it your song and my song,
Same in tune just different emotions...

What a ditty!
Yours, mine and ours,
A queer little riddle...
But thats what life is all about,

A song
A riddle
A rhyme
A little Queer
A little Mystery
and Curiosity

I am reminded of them when
I sing my song as you sing yours
Just, not so aligned in fashion and taste
'cause I'm making You my song
My story
and...
Altogether mine

2008-04-17T00:34:00.005+08:00

Directly To You

I know it,
Just because...
A frail arm is all I need...
To feel safe and protected.

2008-03-26T20:42:00.002+08:00

In This Rainy Day

My cup of Milo let out an image of you,
As I try to cool it, I saw the clouds forming an image of you.

I rhythm of the rain sang your name,
When I closed my eyes and listen quietly.

In this rainy day...

I miss the days when it was rainy like today,
Because I had you by my side.

It still lingers, how you shivered,
Under the fan like now.

I closed my eyes...
To paint what is in yesterdays.

In this rainy day...

I know I miss someone,
For warmth is what I need in this chilly air.

2008-03-13T20:21:00.003+08:00

Of A 3-year-old

"Mama,
Mi(l)k! Mi(l)k!
(wa)Ter! (wa)Ter!"

"Dada,
(th)is... (th)is!
No!!!!!
Hahaha..."

"Mama,
Wan(t)! Wan(t)!
Waaaaa...aaa...aaa..."

"Dada... dada...
Ma...a...ma..."

When was that?

"... Courteously in rehearsed lines ..."
"... Graciously in practiced movements ..."

Of a 3-year old?

Perhaps

2008-03-09T23:22:00.001+08:00

Your Little Girl's Prayer

Father Above All,
This little girl of Yours have had some trouble.
Trailing all over my little heart,
May You help me?
I know of Your mercy, is great.
Your hands so big and mighty,
Should carry all them?
And replace it with blessings?

In unison -
My heart;
My mind;
and...
My soul;
Shouts:
AMEN!

Father...
There is someone trapped in my heart,
Never can he leave nor stay,
As if caught up in a maze,
What should I do?
Neither can I let him go...
Nor put him there permanently...
Please lay Your mighty hands on my heart.

My Father, My Daddy...
I am sure You have been listening,
To all the silly melodies this little heart makes,
Those grunting and chirping,
Made of my muse,
But how can I compose a song?
When all seems like a stormy sea,
Fate undecided.

My Father,
Full of love and compassion,
May You hold my hand and glassy heart.
Have those melodies trickled Your tears?
I am hanging on to You,
May You answer me...
and grant this prayer of Your little girl?

2008-03-08T19:57:00.004+08:00

The Tandem Bicycle

My dearest love,

Do you know that you are riding on a tandem bicycle?
We've been cycling on;
the same track; the same bike,
All along.

Have you - noticed my presence?
-had your head turned back?
Darling, I have been trying to catch up,
To be by your side...

Then I realised,
That we're on a tandem bike,
Keeping me behind;
even if I sprint, it'll be useless...

I will never make it up to you,
For I, am sprinting on a tandem bike,
Our journeys affected,
Have you ever noticed? The rider behind your tandem bicycle?

Maybe my dearest love,
You knew it all along,
But what refrained your declaration?
...and refracted us?

Perhaps...
Time?
The length of our seats?
Or merely myself?

One day...
When I am on par with you,
Maybe then...
It is time for you to unravel this.

As for now,
I shall set a chapel in my heart...
And set my foot in it,
Just so that you would turn your head.

2008-03-07T20:17:00.002+08:00

As If Enough

Shielded under a semi-rounded roof,
Was seated on a cold block,
I watched the golden rain,
As Aeolus let a mild sigh...
The golden pieces starts dancing...
Oh... so gracious from the sky,
Lulled my heart into audience...

They came so softly,
Touches my heart and teases my mind...
Flirts with my vision so cheekily,
Sparing none of the compass's needle...
Urging me to wander,
As they cheekily peep at my back and gave my ear a tap,
Like a child's play of hide and seek,
They gently rode the art,
And perform their dances...

So beautiful,
They make my heart ache badly...
Pierced are the little droplets...
Shining like diamond dust upon my features...
Transforming this maid into a maiden...
Likely for a Royal Dance.

Such beauty etched upon this box,
In which is kept all beautiful...
Makes living...
As if enough...

2008-02-26T16:23:00.002+08:00

Adding Another

As time subtracts, we add...
Time flies, we pile,
The beginning of your first half,
Is indeed the beginning of my second...

Does this keep our tracks apart?
Or is it the waves of the seven seas?

It was good to catch a little through a big gap,
Yet, how long will these be?
How long more will our catch(es) remain like that of yesterday?

The catches are small but full of light,
Just like a child's catch of firefly,
Enchanting and exciting...

My precious little catch,
So amazing and dear,
Should we treasure these little catch(es) that lighten the vast memories...
Of you and me.

What these little catch(es) holds?
Shall unveil itself when riped.

2007-12-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

I Can't Hate You More

I hate you,
Yes I do,
How you are never here,
Then you come as you like,
Rude.

I hate you,
You never really cared,
I don't know...
Right now my eyes are tearing up,
i hate you,
i do, i do, i do,
i do hate you.
i just can't write anymore

2007-12-05T14:33:00.000+08:00

Today

I
Stood between frustration and depression,
Live in a body full of scars and bruises,
Happiness and joy is a showcase of lies,

They
Said be thankful,
Grateful,
and graceful,

Indeed...

If you were to wear my shoes...
It might fit,
Will you feel comfortable?
Will it shed your confidence?
Change the person you are?

You didn't even blink at that...
'cause if you were me,
You'll not be that person,
You won't be here giving me advices...

You'll probably be the worthless person here,
This emotional wreck,
And I will be the annoying 'life-guru'...

Yet you mocked me,
Called me names,
And said that I am weak...

Wait! Who are you?
I'm sorry we are the same,
Just past and present...

2007-11-17T13:50:00.000+08:00

Loving you,
Tonight I cry as the melody play in the background,
Like a whisper…
It reminds me of you,
It makes me tear with a weighted solemn heart,
Knowing that I can’t be with you,
My naive heart never listen...
Thus, keep falling for you,
Inching deeper and deeper,
Almost to the bottom of this world,
Simply by falling in love with you,
So deep that it amazes even me,
This love, lonely and sorrowful,
Had always have a missing piece...
you.

Voices out there calling for me,
To wake me from this fantasy,
Yet I am so in love in loving you,
I shut my ears to keep them from this world,
Continue my drifting from them,
Feeling closer to you...
My illusions,
The ones that comfort me in this heart breaking voyage,
Whom I find comfort in walking... deeper and deeper,
My fears subtracted from intuition...
For I know this is something I will never regret,
Though lonesome and sorrowful,
I find warmth in it.
So much that I long for it in each second that ticks.

2007-11-13T17:41:00.000+08:00

Irony

My fine keepings of…
Strength in weaknesses,
Light in darkness,
Joy in painfulness.

Findings of…
Love in hatred,
Treasure in pettiness,
Solution in trouble.

Emergences of…
Hope in despair,
Truth in lies,
Similarity in differences.

Irony the Goddess…
Offer what’s differ,
Full of plain surprises,
Amusingly frightening.

Indeed, Irony is Ironic.

2007-11-11T20:38:00.000+08:00

Robbed

What a life…
When every minute seems dark,
There isn’t a day that passes without a tear,
Nor a smile could cross sincerely,
What a life…

A life that barely secure a smile,
Now robbed,
From security and even hope,
Dwelling in depression – the modern ache,
Looking forward to an everlasting sleep.

Each tick that passes with eyes shut seems best,
Quicker than any,
In that island of paradise,
Where everything is cared for,
The only place to smile…

This is the life of a robbery victim,
Whose hope is to end this misfortune…
or for a better prescription - eternal sleep,
Let all her pain be swept in that lovely sleep,
In eternal her pain shall bury.

2007-10-23T13:26:00.001+08:00

A Letter, My Love.

Dearest,

Worry not,
If I am not in your list,
For whatever I wanted, wanted badly indeed...
Have always had a way to slip,
From oddest to miraculous,
So worry not my dear...

I could almost foretell my tale,
For it is merely opposite of my plans,
Just as it were for others to stroll in direction,
Mine channeled into the opposite,
Leaving me, alone...
Strolling in teary eyes,
Watching the opposite with a weighty heart,

They said;
"Plan ahead"
Life said;
"Follow me"
I said;
"I'm lost"

So dear,
Worry not,
My list is the most wretched,
You need not worry about your seat,
For it will not be next to mine,
As I travel in an opposing manner...

I was merely a passing image,
Maybe just a little more outstanding,
Something worth keeping for old days' refreshment,
Most probable not a life long staple,
You had it measured, earlier than my conscience,
Opposites only passes by, as a traffic rule...

Worry not my dear,
This is an assurance.

Love,
The Passing Image from Opposite.

2007-10-11T01:18:00.000+08:00

'SHUT UP! LISTEN.'

There are too many voices in here,
Taking my stage,
Shining under my spotlight,

For once,
SHUT UP!
You nuisance bunch of crowd...

Let me be the speaker,
The host of my show,
Know your parts well,

LISTEN!
Generate,
and digest it...

Cage your judgments first,
Don't be quick,
As you are careless in it,

Hear what I have...
Specially for you,
For this, an unheard lament,

SHUT UP!
and...
LISTEN.

2007-10-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

Ahead

Let your sight wander,
‘til the last point of perspective,
Pen your steps…

This, a CHEAT!

Choices - never between your palms,
Fate - is…
Plans - a foul play…

Look beyond…
Its just illusions…
Don’t let your blood race,

It’ll send your painted glass crackling,
For I have said,
It is fated…

Give your heart some muscle…
Keep your eyes weak…
Be still and let the voyage take you…

Hear this Ode like an anthem…
For I… have let myself down…
Now drain and dire in carcinogenic soul…

2007-09-14T21:14:00.000+08:00

262:88; On Best Friends

As the wind caresses my features...
My mind rides with them,
In just blink, one jumps to another...
Yet, never fail in returning to its nature.

The mist is cleared...
Revealing the scene,
It might not be what my mind had painted...
But is beautiful, in its way...

Being a part of the story is an honour...
The role is not as important anymore,
As its significance varies...
For each role is unique.

Best friend, is who I am,
Placed above friends,
It is an honour for such a title,
I am glad.

Dear, as you gave me the title...
I vow to you that I'm always able,
Just come to me...
Though in my eyes, you are more...

2007-09-13T13:12:00.001+08:00

The Remix of Orchid by A.N. Nanda(click)

It is my first time receiving an autographed book or rather my first autographed item. What is it? Obviously the book entitled The Remix of Orchid by A.N. Nanda, a writer from India who is very passionate about his work and gladly shares his work with people around the globe. This explains his generosity by delivering his book all the way from India to me, bearing all the cost of delivery himself. As I call him by the title uncle, it shows my respect for him as a writer and a friend in writing, though I am way far behind from where he stands.

The Remix of Orchid is a collection of short stories closely related to the Andamans. One thing that I really like about his stories is that they are not merely fictional as we can relate the stories with our daily life. It is something that we went, going or have seen others going through.

His stories not only make its reader, in this case - myself, pause and take a moment of thought for my life but it feeds the hunger for a good read.

A book that winds the mind of its reader and drive them to reflection is what I call, 'The Power'. How often do you get something short yet leaves a deep feeling in your heart? Quite few to be frank. Yet in this book, you get many shorts with the compliment of deep impactS. What else could you call this but 'The Golden Power'?

Now, this is why I call him Uncle Nanda.

May your book reach out to more and the blessing of writing continue to be with you. This one is for you Uncle Nanda!

2007-08-30T10:20:00.000+08:00

The Sandman

Sculpted to almost perfection,
Planned with precision,
Ordered in details...

What a beauty...
An achievement!
Wrapped in glitz and glam...

All for nothing...

Because I am the Sandman...

2007-07-12T19:34:00.000+08:00

Between The Bridge

My feet lies at the head, static...
I look far... beneath, over and between...
Only a thick mist of presence for greeting,

I step, one at a time...
In fear and hope,
If I will see the One whom they spoke about,

I felt the presence,
It drives me to further my little steps,
I did...

I found Him,
I walked, I tripped...
Bruised and torn...

He, at the end calls my name,
Ordered that I will walk His will,
Just as He said, I did...

The further I journey the harsher it gets,
He tells me "Worry not my child, I am here"
I walk.

In the mid of this journey,
Inviting to the storm, predators and broken spirits,
I carry His plans along...

His presence with me!
I braved and strengthened,
For He is my one and only.

Through Him and In Him I live.

2007-06-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

Victims of The Scale

My ordination...
To stand for justice,
And weigh on equality,
That is what I was ordained for,
My duty, my destiny...
With my life upon it.
I, the Scale.

Oh! I must need some ointment on my temple,
For the Queen of a man lives there,
The Scale must've jolted the Queen off its temple,
For what a speech was staged,
Grace is upon knowledge and sensibility,
Grief is the voices chained within my physique.
I, the Learned.

I sow and harvest the feeding - yours and mine,
Hands polished, erased are its identity,
Yet from darkness to darkness my calculation rises,
My feeding in blistering plight,
This battle is not of destiny,
In the depth of your comfort stores the soul of my wails.
I, the Layperson.

helpless and naive,
raging and rebellious,
ambitious and aggressive,
worrisome and passive,
Those are our frailty in plurality,
In good they are the fortress.
I, the Community.

the Learned,
the Layperson,
the Community,
Speaking, the same voice.
Looking, the same vision.
Unite.
As the victim of the Scale.

2007-06-11T20:13:00.000+08:00

From The Left Side of That Bed

The hour... young and tender,
The announcer... still resting his throat,
The day breaker... still deep in sleep,
The air... still yet refreshing...

That was the hour,

When I; myself...
- torn from that misted screen,
- melted from that frosted garment,
- revived is the pulse...

That was, indeed the hour,

From the left side,
My rigid senses imploded,
Alike the enigmatic morning sky - splashed in forbidden mixture; break loose...
The stream, fought against themselves,

The winner?
Truth.

From the Left side - ARISE!
The route is heading Right...
The journey had begun...
Only now the Left side see.

Time has concluded,
Winding back... a tale, greatly spoken about,
Looking far into the Right side...
A journey is there to catch...

From the Left to the Right...

Destined?
Coin flips?
Tale?
Journey?

The answer is...
"Just look far into the Right side from the Left with the awaken Truth."

2007-05-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

For You, Cherry

Those that have you all torn up,
Crushed your soul to pieces,
Did not look deep enough...

For those that heal your wounds,
Had never let loose of their grip,
You are 'the apothecary'...

The binding of souls - appointed...
To play their roles,
Complimenting each other...

Now!

Let us hold on and walk until the end,
Then, we shall look back with a smile,
For we, walked the road - a journey meant for us.

note: this piece is inspired by Cherry (Chelle). but it is for all my friends.

2007-05-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

In You

It is in you I trust,
I hope,
I dare,
And I love.

It is in you that I learned,
I grow,
I mature,
And form.

It is in you I died,
I wrecked,
I failed,
And shattered.

It is also in you I revive,
I rise,
I walk,
And shine.

It is in you.
In you, for my coming backs.
In you my emptiness filled.
For I, that lives in you.

2007-05-20T14:00:00.000+08:00

The Beautiful

Beautiful is the sky, for its abundant hope.
Beautiful is the sea, for its frankness.
Beautiful is the rain, for its motherly love.
Beautiful is the heart, for its purity.
Beautiful is the soul, for it made you.
Beautiful is you, for who you really are.
These are my beautiful.

2007-05-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

Apis Mellifera Fat Farut Panthera Leo Fat Fat

Nectar... a collection as to diamonds,
Mane... admiration, respect and treasured,

A Mane... crowned upon me,
A Mane... loved by me.

A Mane, bound unto this blood,
Stitch upon this soul...

Buzzy over Maney,
Before and Present, Past unseen...

'Apis Mellifera Fat Farut Panthera Leo Fat Fat'
A code for you and me...

Familiar to me, unknown to you,
Guarded! Kept! Sealed!

This is Apis Mellifera's song,
Panthera Leo the receiver,

Both a creature,
Fragile... Afraid,

A song of uncertainty rich in emotion,
Faith and Fate shall break the sealant,

Eternity, Beauty's second name...
As said 'A THING of beauty is a joy for ever'.

Beautiful...
Your name from this lip.

Note: 'A THING of beauty is a joy for ever' a verse from John Keats' Endymion.

2007-05-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

Unspoken

All I have, is stored in stars,
Whispers, words and feelings...
Straight from the box,

Stored them... Locked them...
Safe and sound, only to Him...

He who knows each letter in it...

He shall grant these wishes of mine,
He shall hear me out,
He shall help make them true...

'cause You wouldn't have the chance... to hear,
But wait for the wakening surprises... tailored for You,
Worry not, He will grant them.

You will be watched, each and every second...
Worry not,
As He will guard you, under my pleas...

Unspoken...

2007-04-20T01:37:00.000+08:00

Tell Him

Every little dust... knew,
The air... heard,
Those furniture... read,
This bed... asphyxiated,

Stale and Rotten to them,

Yet you never knew.

Recited,
Painted,
Sung,
Engraved.

Reminded and Remembered,

Yet you never knew.

So treasured, loved and precious,

Yet you never knew.

2007-04-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

Raining My Tears

The raindrops tapped the ground,
Breaking its droplet one by one,
Just as you stand before me,
This rain drenched you...
Then split itself on the concrete,

This rain, made of tears...
Shed with love,
Collected and rained...

Of love...
Drained helplessly...
Unto differed touches...

Like rain,
These tears are sentenced by fate,
A helpless creature,
Stranded and bound by fate,

This rain...
Helplessly drench you,
But never penetrate through,
Wasting itself,
Breaking into droplets...
Making itself to a cousin of shattered glasses,

As fate holds,
This cycle repeats,
The tapping continues...

2007-04-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

When My Wings Fall

All this moment my 'hour' never met,
Kept from the last tick,
Day renews before night,
Preserving the last tick,
This way... the magic never fall, never cease, never fade...

Magic... a wonderful painting,
Beautifully crafted,
With a charm that never fails to keep Faith,

"Magic lasts forever... and ever and evermore..."

Finally...
It has come.

'The-Last-Tick'

Scrapes Eternity,
Dissolves the scales,
The Lifter, left,
Crumbling to a sandy veil,
Strewn this "Home" with Aeolus' guidance...

The Hour came,
The Magic falls,
This 'Little-Box' salvaged some dust...
For moment of silence...

The great art expires... as 'The-Last-Tick' calls...

2007-03-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

The Last Grip

On this cliff,
A decision made...
To hold or to go?

To hold...
Strength, are you there?
Faith, will you stay?

To go...
Courage, will you ease my soul?
Regret, vow that you won't visit?

To hold... To go...

To hold,
'til what period?
To what extend?

To go,
With what confidence?
For which conscience?

"Hold!" "Go!"

Which is right?
Whom is best?
What to do?

A choice chosen,
Another decided decision,
Action taken again...

There is no rewinding,
Never another chance,
Once and for all...

The Last Grip - for once, for all, for eternity...

2007-03-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

This Is My Biography...

Hi my name is....
I can't remember...

All that flashes in my mind are words here...
Every page of this mentioned cry, tears, pain, yet amazingly love...
So much, as if shamelessly... it repeats...

But... I couldn't recall...
As I turn more and more...
The words seem to fill the pages,

But as it gets more and more,
The pages was blackened in them...
The next and the rest are left blank...

The last of this page is left like the previous...
Of words but...
Awkwardly with a few drip of red ink...

That is me... my biography...

2007-02-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

On 14

Beneath this dizzying sun,
Strokes the teasing breeze,
The ground draws a crooked '11',

Silence tails my back,
Veins at peace,
As I foretell,

This much and never more,
For the 19th year,
The menu never run further than this,

Sinking a loose in the water?
Keeping would be better,
It lightens... but not your heart,

Eros has planned,
Not yet for me,
Still waiting by his hourglass,

"same old fourteen for nineteen"

2007-02-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

My Wings

My Wings...
My Wings...
My Wings...

My Wings...
Are not to carry me across the broad sky,
But to carry your weak limbs with me,

My Wings...
Are not to quilt over the cold weather,
But to keep you warm,

My Wings...
Are not to camouflage me from danger,
But to keep you safe,

My Wings...
Are not to glorify my looks,
But to humble my love unto you,

My Wings... My Wings...
They are not mine...
But love's...

My Wings...
Oh... My Wings...
...love's...

note: This is my first time doing the repetitive style. I might have done so previously but

this is the more obvious one.

2007-01-19T13:45:00.000+08:00

The Marking of Half a Decade

It marks half a decade...
And nothing's changed just developed.

As this journey leads to the other half,
I am marking my second,

One and a half of mine left me venturing,
But this half ventured me...

Something is awaiting upon the aging other half...
But what is?

Young to age?
Or Continuation of this aging?

It marks half a decade....
And nothing's changed just developed.

2007-01-18T14:06:00.000+08:00

In The Waiting

I have always look at the road...
The road named Ahead...

An unabled view...
Only Trodden is enabled...

Never ever I rest it,
Wearing Mind out...

What is the next step like?
How will it be?

This step is worrying the next,
The next shall worry it's next,

Now I shall STOP!
and salvage every moment in this step...

P/S : Specially for Shana babe and Josh. Treasure every moment you have. God Bless You.

2007-01-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

To My Beautiful...

My beautiful...
How finely crafted you are...

You might not be pretty...
But certainly beautiful...

You aren't perfect,
But beautiful in your imperfections,

My beautiful...
Uniquely beautiful...

So and so...
that,

I cannot compare you,
Because you are just so beautiful...

Beautiful... You are MY Beautiful...

Not my dream come true,
Neither my idol nor my desire...

Just My Beautiful...

note:

This poem is specially for all the special people in my life.

Specially Lymer and My Chickstas.

Thank you all for being so beautiful and especially so beautiful to me.

You are MY BEAUTIFUL.

2006-12-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

Silver Screen

I smile the brightest smile,
Walks confidence,
Endorse happy tales,

The finest feast is mine to savour,
Bright-light is my true love,
Life lies between my palms...

To you my audience...

Some say this a fairytale,
Some say a perfect destiny,
Whilst some say curse is it...

You look at me with green eyes,
Others look with sparkly eyes,
The rest just a blinky eye...

That is your voices my audience...

Let my long gone golden voice unleash itself...

I sob the painful traps,
Fall in tragic,
Endure cruel wars,

I swallow burnt and rot,
Treasures only true gem, (where can a true gem be?)
I am a slave here in your world,

That I am, my audience...

I looked you in the eye,
Wanting to speak only the truth,
Yet, needed to hold back,

Yearn to tap you with my frail fingers,
Yet only afford to stroll your shadow,
My sight the cause...

It is me, my audience...

That my golden voice...
Spoke me...
Behind the silver screen...

2006-12-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

The Murders Of This Heart

This heart that bleed...
When should you heal?
Should you bleed for-evermore?

O swollen lesion covered heart ...
Will these carvings sheer?
While pierces contracts?

Murderer of this heart...
Could you seal the bleeding?
Anaesthetise the pain?

This murder tails from day to day through night to night...
Never will it stop nor end...
Neither spare some compassion nor warmth,

Murdered again and again and again...
Broken again and again and again...
Yet... composed again and again AND again...

The murders of this heart...

-26th of July 2006-

Yup another piece hidden in 'My Documents' ( -_-" - I know! )

2006-12-26T22:42:00.000+08:00

I might be love, but not by your side,
Might be comfort that strayed away,
Perhaps… the whole of my presence, nowhere to be found,
Do miss me but miss yourself more,
Do love me but love yourself more.

-20th of July 2006-

*Something I found and I find it amusing now.*

2006-12-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

As It Goes By

Everything chases,
The wind races,
Noises and flashes collects,

Everything grainy,
The world swirls and spins,
I fell... dizzy and drowsy,
Eyes shut.

Here I am... awake,
Kept seeing you,
Felt your presence...

Would you come to me?
Don't step away!
Come to me! Come to ME!
I want you here, next to me...

Could we watch the fireworks,
Light the candles,
Stay awake...; await the closure of this chapter...
and open another...
...together... ?

When will we spend this time together?

2006-12-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

Deepness

A tricky "little" fellow,

Pain,
Sadness,
Ache,
- none can fit...

Happiness,
Pleasure,
Joy,
- can't fit neither...

A pinchy... twirl, twitch and twist,
In the gem-box,
None is right but all are,

So deep... that, no words can draw,
No voice can sing,
No soul can express,

Only feel...,
This deepness,
Present from true devoid,

Of devoid, is longing, of longing, is deepness.

2006-12-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

Melodramma

The music playing like the soft sobs of my heart,
Hitting every note of it,
Just like the tears tapping on the walls of my heart,

The echo rings from my heart to my ears,
Breaking the silence that filled my heart,
Feeding the void with this deepness,

A deepness that sunk me,
There is nothing but deepness,
That gets deeper and deeper and even deeper,

That is the sounds that's compiled,
Into this music piece,
I had no name for it, but Melodramma seem to fit.

* I named this poem after a song entitled 'Melodramma' by Andrea Bocelli.

I was listening to it while I wrote this poem.

2006-12-09T11:27:00.000+08:00

3 hours

3 hours...

We grew in it,
Breathe in it's spaces,
Measures the distance of our running track...

It is the...
...length of the string that holds us - both along and apart,

...height of understanding we constructed - that binds as well as divides,

...width of emotions - knitted like the sea and spun like spring water...

3 hours...

The miles we walk on,

Aimlessly on a destiny of uncertainty,

Where shall it lead us to?

The result?

Perhaps, it might eliminate the time,

Or sink in the dusty chest,

Maybe even add the hour,

3 hours...

Who are you?

Where will you lead us to?

What are your plans for us?

Why did you come between?

When are you revealing yourself?

How can I trust you?

3 hours...

Will mark us.

3 hours is all that it is and all that will be.

3 hours...

2006-10-11T18:22:00.000+08:00

The Missing Touch

Growing a Rose, a purpose...
Wilt answered my call,

To grow a backyard-full of stew's ingredients, a dream carried out...
Green a colour... my finger not,

Sweat kept raining unto this lacquered soil...
Tears kept searching for the veins of this earth,

Thorns twitched in the core of this ground,
Parasite rooted it's minerals,

Such gravely figure you've become,
Haggard and sunken...

Wallow in it - You will be,
The sea might spare you...
But will it be at your presence?

2006-10-07T20:26:00.000+08:00

Reflection Of Helios - The Revelation

You've heard the songs I sang,
With arrogance filled opera,
I portray a beauty.

An honourable beauty,
A charitable mother,
Tender and romance, my nature...

The Full Red Moon...
The Green Corn Moon,
I bear them in my blood...
Festivity is my pride...

I paint with great dignity,
Sings arrogantly,
But...

I am a mirror,
A cold... pale mirror,

This arrogant song...
Is the waves of melancholy -
that was wrapped around me...

Diana... Luna... Hecate...
I am all, all is me.

But I am...
None other than the reflection of Helios.

p/s: Jeya, if you are reading this, will you please leave me your link? I would like to look at some of your work as well. By the way, Thanks for commenting.

2006-10-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

Reflection Of Helios - The Ego

In this dimness...
Sparkled by those stones of elegance...
I shine, over this stage...
With a glowing dignity,

I shine through winter's freeze,
And summer's breeze,
Through forest and sills,

I glow, even in the darkest night,
And brightest morning,
Through spaces and miles within...

Am I not beautiful?
I am the reason of lovers' union.

Am I not worthy?
I shine among the sparkles.

Am I not honourable?
I am the charity to your senses in the dark.

I am. I am. I certainly am...
Beautiful, worthy, and honourable.

Luna is my name...

p/s : I editted this poem from the earlier version.

2006-09-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

12.02.2004, 1.16 p.m.

I no longer feel loneliness,
No longer feel sadness,
Not feeling hapiness too,
Nor the feeling of being lost,
Yet I no longer hear voices,
I can't feel 'the' heart beats,
I couldn't see day,Nor feel the night,
My soul... drenched with emotions,
My heart... clinched with my past,
I am tired...Too tired to even lift my lids,
Too close... not heaven nor hell,
I just want to dream,
Dream and never wake.

p/s: wrote this quite long ago. found it while I was messing with my things. I edited pretty much before putting it up. Is till can't name it so that's why the title is the date and time I wrote it.

2006-09-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

Angel

Took! my fragile hand,
Flew me to 'beautiful'...
Brought me to 'wonderful'...

Caught! my fainting heart,
Drew them to 'brightness'...
Sail them to 'extraordinary'...

Planted! my floating feet,
Rooted them deep in 'trueness'...
Walked them through 'ugliness'...

My Angel - YOU.

This 'deepness' is suffocating me,

While this 'home' longs,

Awaiting the 'flutters'...

Come back O dear Angel...

Yes.

my angel ... you ...

Should another encounter have us?

Let the flip of a coin decide,

There, live a little light in my wax...

my angel ... you ... ?

my angel...

2006-09-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Cleansing

Wash me clean,
With this pouring rain over my corpse,
Give it a new life...

Let this pour rip those dirt away,
Polish those rust to it's crust...
Restrore it's highness...

Wash... wash... wash...
All that covers my light...
All that hurts me in and out...

This heavy pour shall revive me...
Like water to wilted plants,
It'll be soul to this deadness...

This missing equation,
Let it restore the missing,
And reject any relapse...

Let it pour, pour... heavily on me...

2006-08-31T14:08:00.000+08:00

Ashes In The Wind

I am uncertain...
Of things I want and of things I can have,
I know...
That roosters would bark...
If you would just turn and look at me, for another second...

This is a pain, too much to bear...
Twisting the twig in this aching heart,
Filing all her aches, compiling all the her fear...
Bled and torn within herself,
Trying to pluck this twig that pricks like thorns...

Illusions of darkness, concealed...
Unaware of this grand charade...
Captured in this shadow, in the dark,
Release me to the light,

Let me fall from this cliff of darkness,
Maybe then I could find salvation in the valley beneath,
Let go of your grip,
Don't turn back for I will stay,

I have stayed, long enough...

Whisper to me no more,
As I will wait for you to finish,
Give me no more sugar,
As I will thirst for more...

Honey... I need to go,
Don't keep me hesitated,
Release me like ashes to the wind,
Cause you know... you know the answer...

You know you won't stop to give me a second look,
You know you won't...
So just turn me to the ashes in the wind...
Release me from my slavery...

2006-08-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

Strange Little Emotion

It hurts...
More than a murder,

It stabs...
Deeper than the sea,

It scars...
Uglier than lesions,

Yet,

It grows,
Higher than the sky,

It stays...
Longer than timed,

It heals...
Better than any remedy,

It is...
Love.

2006-08-08T20:03:00.000+08:00

Courtyard of Inches

Inches by inches,
I walked,
Lived,
And learnt.

Each inch of value,
Compassion,
Love...
And aches.

As I grow with these inches...
I've become stronger,
Wiser,
And better.

2006-07-26T17:21:00.000+08:00

My Prayer For You...

With my tearing heart,
And unwillingness to let go of you, I pray...

That one day...
You would be loved like my love for you,
Protected like my protection over you,

I plea that...
All your hopes, wishes and dreams emerge,
While happiness and contentment embrace,

I wish that...
Success come to your pursued,
And your life be worthy.

This is my prayer for you.
Let the Lord pen it in His way,
But I'll keep my persistence regardless.

Lord, please hear my prayers...

Should I pray more, I would.
Should I fast, I would.
Should I be sacrifice, I would.

Just hear these unbreach prayers for this love of mine.

2006-07-19T14:23:00.000+08:00

Honey, I Am Sweet.

In Porcelain of China,
Brass of Egypt,
Mansion,
Or blades of weeds,
I am sweet.

Golden glazed,
Corncob pale,
Syrup thick,
Or water based,
Sweet is what I am.

Ways I am...
Stored,
Cultivated,
Portrayed,
Would not dilute my sweetness.

Honey, is what I am,
Sweetness is of my nature.
I might not be sweet to your eyes,
But surely to your taste buds,
Because... Honey, is me.

*this poem is to state my view on how inner beauty is to honey. If you are beautiful you will be beautiful and no matter how much people try to deny it, they would fail. Facts never lie*

p/s : i wrote this yesterday but blogger erased my entry and posted blank post. Grrr...

2006-07-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

The Waters of Lyons

Stood high in the land of lavish and grandeur,
Of wealth and stature...
Where...
The finest dine,
Belle of belles clothe,

As mirrored by the lion in your name.

At the tip and cream,
Of limelight and ranks...
Shine in morning light,
Glittery in dimmed,
Glamorous, conceited not of any.

Magnificent Chateau warmth like your victorious crown.

A house for Cathedral...
Of nature I supposed,
Your waters so still, tranquil, and cold
Almost a ripple... not,
Even if pebbles and coins dive.

Sworn from birth, this Kingly habit of yours.

Offerings of chocolates,
Fresh flowers,
Sunrise and sunset,
Feathered strokes,
And chants.

My sight witnessed, delivery only to your honoured armour.

Tears,
Hails,
Blazes,
Whirls,
Slapped unto you.

Trade for a ripple of your majestic, failed.

Magnificent,
Victorious,
Glorious,
Majestic,
Kingly.

The waters of Lyons.

2006-07-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

Frozen.

Flow... Flow... Flow...
Nothing but alike river,
So much...
'til drenched and dried,

Flow...
Again and again,
For eternity,
Nakedly not...

Through gardens or cliffs ...
Continues flowing,
Unseen...
Unsung...

Nothing! Nothing!
Can stop this flow.
Frozen or Clot...

2006-06-25T14:09:00.000+08:00

Just A Porcelain Mask

Smooth, fine, and handsome,
I am perfect.
Just like how you wanted me to be,
I am all that you wanted,
All that you desired.

Smooth, fine and handsome...
A desire of the feminine,
Lust of the masculine,
I am the perfect lust and desire.
Not escaping a single man.

I am the perfectly engineered beauty,
In this world of bestiality and ugliness,
Mocking you...
Luring you to this puppetry,
Swallowing you into this gulf of bettings.

I am just a mockery,
I am...
the mirror of your soul,
I am...
the reflection of your heart,

I am...
Just a porcelain mask.
Easily broken and chipped,

I am...
Just a fragile beauty.

Will you, look deeper?

CRDITS: VICTORIA LEE. Vicky babe, I was inspired when I read the diary. thanks for the inspiration! I love the masks too.. Gonna get one for mua. Then we can camwhore as the fragile beauty!

2006-06-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

The abandoned blog.

I am too distracted to write.. Omg!!! Not good! i ahve some strings in mind but... I am really distracted to write. I'll try to get more strings and write them! hopefully tomorrow. i'll be free to let my mind wander! weee...

love, Melly Mel

2006-06-07T10:55:00.000+08:00

I am...

I am not the stars in the sky,
It is not so hard to reach me,

I am not the blazing sun you greet,
I wouldn't melt you,

I am not the pretty sweet smelling flower,
I couldn't charm you to stay if you walk away,

I am not anything out there,
I am me.

2006-06-03T11:10:00.000+08:00

Everytime

When...
I speak,
You turn away,

When...
I hold on,
You let go,

When...
I try,
You ignore,

Now...
That I don't even look at you,
You come to me,

Now...
That I let go,
Here you are clinging to me,

And...

Now...
That I give up,
You persist on trying.

Tell me what do you want me to do?

You seem to take the opposite lane,

When will we be in the same lane?

Or maybe there isn't a path that crossed between us to begin with...

Maybe...

2006-05-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

That Piece of Glass

The one standing tall,
Full of poise and magnificence,
Crowned with silver sparkle,
Untainted and pure...

So handsome,
Splendid and glorious,
A presence destined to bring...
Promises of lighted days...

That is it...

Something so beautiful and majestic,

Who would have thought...
That-
it would crumble like a sand castle,
That-
it would be left as a sliver,
Left to cut and graze,

Where is all the grandeur and magical aura you had?
All broken, shattered, and sprawled...

That piece of glass...
Can be so glamourous yet so devastating...

*guess wht the glass represents*

2006-05-03T14:02:00.000+08:00

Ceiling High

Go balloon... Go...
Higher... Higher...
So beautiful...
Like a Princess in her finest silk...

Bang...
Into pieces that is...
Here I come...
Falling from grace...
Fitting on despair...

Crushed...
Shattered...
Broken...

2006-04-26T19:30:00.000+08:00

At The Ends Of A Perfect Spectrum

After treats of fresh drops...
With a majestic piercing of the golden straw...
Here I am...
Fully formed and carefully crafted,

Beautifully and boldly spread across the vague sphere...

I am majestic...
My... Oh my...

Dear Darling,
Stop searching for the roots that hold me...
Just close your eyes my dear...

There you'll find me...

Because that is what I am...

2006-04-16T14:02:00.000+08:00

Easter and Eggs

Easter and Eggs...

Once,
It was just an ordinary Sunday event...
Widely commercialised and celebrated,
With colourful painted eggs,
Butt-heating sermons,
Loud hyms and praises,
And fellowship of bright coloured food,

Now,
This is a day that:
Jesus the Lord perform a metamorphosis on me,
I hugged Him back and will continue hugging Him,
When He touched my soul and opened my heart,
A day when all my worries and pains washed away,
Joy showered and fed my soul,
Never have I felt so wonderful,
It is through Him...

All these years...
I've been scrubbing and bleaching those stubborn pain,
Trying to fill my emptiness and loneliness,
Persistently plucking thorns from my heart,
And determinedly adding sugar to the bitter coffee,
But...
All He did was...
Laid His hands on me.

Thank You Lord for:
Opening my blinded heart,
Clearing my deafen ears,
And feeding my famished soul...
Yes Lord, You are my Lord, my Light and my Way...
Thank You...

Yup! I am a Christian now. Tell you guys more about my decision and convert later. muacks..

2006-04-15T19:10:00.000+08:00

ROJAK!

Oh yeah! I went for the play! Seriously it's so good. I love their expressions and their communication with the audience. The message was really good with a great sense of humour. It pointed on the stuff that you merely ignore and store at the back of your bloody head, it makes you think and REFLECT. It's a really good sit back and think play. It makes you wonder and most importantly realize. A big hand to the whole crew. You guys totally rock!

The scene from "Romanticization"

The scene from "Off key"

The cast, directors and us(?- Seafield kids) Reuben Kang is blocking my face... ARGHHHH!!!

Basically All I can say is they ROCK! LOVE THEM!
A photo of us with two of the cast... From left... Me(*blames Joshua for the angle.. wakakakaka), Soraya, Emily Yoon, Cheng Sim and Dominic Luk.

Man... I so feel like replacing my face with this camwhore photo of mine...

or this... for a more dramatic effect

2006-04-12T14:15:00.000+08:00

Thorn-ed

Thorns...
Some prick then leave,
Eventually the bleeding would stop,
There might not even be a scar,

Thorns...
Some prick then leave a scar,
Scars...
Are reminders of the pain but precaution to dangers,

Thorns...
Some prick tehn stay,
Venturing in the bloodstream...
And jump with enthusiasm,

'til you are so numb,
Emptiness join in,
Drilling immunity out of your feet,
Tasting the tears that ran along my face...

Thorns...

2006-04-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

Trades

Candies, lolipops and T-drops,
All bartered with maturity and puberty...
This is LIFE it seems...

Yesterday and the second before are memories,
The ticking second is present that is yet to be the past,
And what lies in the next second and tomorrow is future...

This is all that we own in life...
The Past, Present and Future...
Why is it so hard then?

All we do is trade, replace and keep.
That's what we have?
Is that all?

NO...
Life has more than that...
Life is living.

Not just living but bidding for the best,
To satisfy our thirst and hunger,
'til we neglect ourselves at times...

*i somehow don't like the last line... but i'll try to find a more suitable phrase..*

2006-03-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

Glassed

I saw those teary eyes,
The same palely lit flesh,
And those tangled hair,

I sponged those teary eyes,
Stroked the pale flesh as gently,
Then,
Brushed those tangled hair...

I sensed someone doing the same for me...

* can anyone guess what this is about? *

2006-03-19T13:32:00.000+08:00

Parading

In the drapes of the veils,
You'll see me.
The real me.

The one with swollen eyes,
Bloated cheeks,
And...
Messy hair.

Would you still like me?
Talk to me?
Laugh with me?

The real me.
Behind these veils of masquerades.

2006-03-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Under HIS wings

I looked up to the sky,
All I saw was tears coming my way like missiles,
I wonder if YOU are crying for me,
I felt my heart drowning,

I couldn't... I couldn't...
I couldn't pour them out of my little heart,
I am choking, suffocating and fainting,

Can YOU hold on to me?
Don't let my fingers slip from YOUR grip,
Or maybe just let me go,

I am eager to let go,
But is this the right time?
Would YOU let me go if I let go?

I... I... I...
Is this my path?
Did YOU choose this for me?

I am weak, pathetic and disable,
I am just a creature chained to YOU,
I surrender in YOUR name,

Help me O' Lord,
Let me be in YOUR light,
Hold me tight and don't let me stray...

I know YOU can hear me,
I know YOU can feel my pain,
And I know YOU love me,

Lord,
Please break the bleakness with YOUR light,
Substitute my pain with YOUR love,

O' Lord...
I know YOU've heard me...
Even if my lips froze...

2006-03-12T19:32:00.000+08:00

Lepidoptera Scales Sprinkled Life.

Day feels like night,
Night felt darker than ever,
Peace broke, replaced by chaos,
Self turned into stranger,
Tears flow bruising the cheeks,
Mind travelled miles after miles but could never settle.

Someday,
Seizures of laughter sips into blood,
Presence seems like absence,
Sweet smiles turned into sharp piercing spears,
Heart burning with nothing,
Hopes became passerby.

Life...
Becomes numb, paralyse and anaesthetize.

2006-03-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

I am DUST, DUST is me!

Hello, my name is Dust.
I am a speckle of dust,
I live in the air,
I travel through floating,
In my journey I saw many, many things,
Let me tell you the tales from my journey...

Yesterday,
I saw a Lion,
He said, "How nice if I am a speckle of dust"
I asked him why?
He answered, "Because dust don't need to fight for mates and win in battles to keep his reign"
In my heart I said, "You have your mate, I don't. You have the reign while I am disposed. You are admired, I am not"
Dear Lion, You are to be admired, I am to be blown away.

Today,
I saw the flower,
She said, "I want to be a speckle of dust"
I asked her why is that so?
She told me, "A speckle of dust would never wilt and never lose it's beauty"
Deep inside my inner voice said, "You have the chance to be fresh, I am never fresh. You have the chance of being beautiful and well admired, I am never beautiful and will never be"
Dearest Flower, You are treated like a Royalty, while I am... just Dust.

Tomorrow,
I have seen tomorrow,
I will be seeing a mankind,
He told me that he want to be me... a speckle of Dust,
Again I questioned,
He whispered, "You have what I wanted"
I told him, "Did you want nothing but being blown away when not needed, kept for others' benefit, condemned, trotted, and forgotten?"
I kept silent,
Then broke it by asking him, "Is that what you really want?"
There was no answer, as he tried to console himself that being me is the best ever.

Floating here,
I assure you that anything is better than me, D-U-S-T.

Yours truly and sincerely,
D-U-S-T!

2006-02-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

What Comes Between

There is a barrier between us,
Not of rivers nor seas,
Neither of heaven and earth,
Nor black or white,
What is it that is between?
It is non other than ourselves.

The barrier is non other than ourselves,
It could be that the Cupid's Arrow was broken,
However, I am always here,
Not waiting nor hoping for you to turn to me,
But always loving you,
No matter what happen,
I'll always be here, just for you.

Just want you to know that:
My love isn't artificial,
It is not those sweet puppy love,
It is sincerely from deep within.

2006-01-13T15:35:00.000+08:00

bayangan

bagaikan bayang-bayang mu,
pergerakan ku dibentuk mu,
tanpa rasa letih ku mengikuti mu,
bagaikan bayangan yang tidak akan lenyap,
inilah bayangan mu...
bayangan hidup ku...

berdarah atau berkandung tanah,
bayangan ini tetap menerpa,
bersisi dengan mu tanpa mengira mentari atau purnama,
bayangan....

* soo cheesy... hahaha

2006-01-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

barnacled soul

changing and ever changing,
here i am all new and fresh,
i can barely remember who i was,
i feel so light someday,
and so delirious at any others,
always trying to make my day worthy,
and found out that i wasted them by waiting,
by the time i go off with a tight heart and a goldfish pout,
only did i realise that indeed, i am patient, too patient for this.

how i wish i just spit it on your face and get over with it,
but i can't.
it's just not me, perhaps for the barnacle soul i have,
i rather hide in my shell, stick to the rock, wait and be all delirious.

2006-01-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

Missing Note

The melody was triumphant,
but would sound majestic with the missing key,
The house was pretty,
but would be beautiful with the missing touch,
The painting is rich,
but would be treasure with the missing stroke,
The song was sung melodiously,
but would be joyous with the missing pitch,
The moment is memorable,
but will be valuable with the missing piece,
The day was nice,
but would be perfect with the missing person.

2005-12-20T09:28:00.000+08:00

The Weed's Hymn

There lies a Garden of roses,
With mighty pride, healthy wealth, and tremendous height,

Here i am, A Garden of weeds,
With mighty pride, healthy wealth, and tremendous height,
All within my little Blood-pump,

Here i am,
Dancing in the breeze brewed by the Valley of Light,

I own all that is finely cropped,
Deform and defect is not in my Journey,
Maybe it is, in the Telescope of the Toys,
But never a pinch in me nor my Blood,

We strive to live...
through whirlwinds, sandstorms, avalanches and muders,
We survive!
With the Roots descended from The Old Ones,

Here we are,
Singing our rhythm with -
soul and sparkles in our eyes.

2005-11-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

What If...

this is not a test,
but a destiny,
it is not a feeling,
but an address,

what if...
what if...

these are the pathway tailored for me,
a trophy that i am yet to win,
an order that was bound since created,
or a contract signed ere this life...

and if these are honesty,
then i shall bid my last - ....
for i will journey towards - ....

but before it begins,
i shall ensure you that my love was never a lie..
it is as pure as the water of blessings.

note: "-.... is referring to a term that shall be filled suitably, corresponding with a suitable event..." mind you people... it is an event that will take place in my life not yours... hehehehe

2005-11-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

bare-back

so light and fluffed,
not burdened, not magnetize,
just fly or drop,

fly...
without a pair of wings?

2005-10-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

"she" by that window

her world lie as colourful and pretty in our eyes,
the sweetest smile,
joyous laughter,
and sparkly eyes,

how could one even flash a thought of...
...the sweetest smile indeed is a bitter frown,
...that joyous laughter is a painful cry,
...and those sparkly eyes are cold glasses of tears,

could she be practising her drama?
puppeting herself?
or perhaps finding her own happiness?
by this window that - we call bliss
- she call ....

2005-10-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

the magic lamp or rather bottle

there's a lamp floating in the sea,
with water filling in,
probably with some poisonous weeds,
but all i can do is watch,
it is far from me,

when it is near,
i didn't know the Spell,
trying to assure myself that Geanie is fine,
lively and happy,
not knowing that It is suffocating,
while i am here worrying about the rain outside,

my senses are so bad that i thought Geanie will make it,
coz i can't hear her screaming,
not knowing that she is screaming in the lamp,
trying to come out,
finally the Spell broke by another Traveller,

now that i know i'm going to keep Geanie near to me,
and learn the Spells,
forgive me dear Geanie,
now that you are out of The Lamp,
let us stay together.

2005-09-05T12:00:00.000+08:00

the day after today

i was walking under the perfect summer,
then the rain came pouring,
as i was admiring the beautiful plants,
a hurricane came to unroot them all,
then i spoke to myself,
"don't cry as tomorrow will be better",

then i saw the morning light,
keeping my head with a voice saying "it will be better and it would be great",
but before i could even blink,
i saw myself trapped by quicksand,
then i prayed that underneath this bed of danger comes beauty,
until then i remembered,
because i don't know what will tomorrow be like,
and i cannot assure my little self anymore.

praying that today will just be fair,
i dare not summon my prayer for tomorrow,
the day that comes when today ends.

2005-08-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

chasing me

that particular swing that sway,
the strolling pram,
the milk bottle,
and the ever beautiful evening tour...

that strong arms that once lifted me,
and made me laugh,
with my face brewed in the wind,
an unforgettable moment.

then i thought and convinced my mind,
that you are always fine and happy,
never in my mind that you are drench with negative emotions,
as you are great in my eyes.

i wasn't worried at all when everyone else is,
not because my heart is empty,
thus, i had confidence in you,
and proud of you.

i am wrong, very wrong indeed,
have i forgotten or forsaken that you are a mortal?
just like me, with blood and tears,
what an idiot i have become...

i...
regret,
and repent,
for what a fool i had become...

give me some time please...
i don't want to lose you like i did,
i don't want to lose you like i lose that great old man,
please give me some time,
and i will show you this world of harlequin,
i beg you with my tears...

2005-08-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

one word

great!

2005-08-09T15:35:00.000+08:00

addicted

you've got me addicted,
like i'm on drugs,
you wash my gloominess away...
in a spark,
you wipe my insecurities away...
like it is just a speckle of dust,

you've got me addicted,
addicted and loving this addiction,
you have got that drug into my blood stream,
i am not letting it flow away...
not an inch,
'cos i'm loving this drug you injected in me,
how can i ask for more?

you've got me addicted,
and i'm enjoying and loving every bit of it,
love this addiction called "MY ADDICTION"
no one else's but mine.